The Power of The Words We Say… To Ourselves

 

There is a huge difference between starting a sentence or a comment with the words “I feel” and “I am.” How use these two phrases in our sentences and our expressions will make a huge difference in our lives. I would go as far as to say that they can make you or break you. After all, death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21).

I have worked for many years with broken men, broken teams, broken churches and organizations, broken companies, and some large corporations that are truly broken. I have even worked with broken politicians in office, and broken criminals in jail, and some of you right now may be thinking there’s not much of a difference between the two.

I know within minutes whether or not I will be able to help a person or team’s situation. This is why I provide a free of cost, complementary 30 minute consultation for anyone who is seeking the services of GC Rosario Group. See, many people fail to realize that their trouble starts with their self-talk, and detrimental self-talk comes to the surface within minutes in a conversation.

When people are seeking help, they will often use the phrase I am when describing their current situation and state of mind. I start consulting my potential clients even before they become clients. I assess whether they are using the phrase I feel, or the phrase I am in their speech. This is a quick indicator of where they are in their storm, and how quickly I will be able to help them move past that storm.

There is a huge difference between the phrase I feel and the phrase I am. How do you use these will speak truth to the success that you will experience as an individual, a team, and organization or a business. For example, if My potential client opens up during our our consultation by using self-descriptive phrases such as “I am depressed”, “I am overwhelmed”, “I am tapped out”, “I am broke”, “I am tired”, “I am lost”, “I am lonely”, “I am angry”, “I am sick”, etc., I immediately invite them to change the two first words of their comment from “I am” to “I feel.” It is subtle, but the mindset that is created by saying “I am overwhelmed” and “I feel overwhelmed” is very different, and yields results that are are completely different.

This is a correction that was made in my own life almost 20 years ago and it has shaped my growth in everything I approach. I was the type of person that would give the power of “I Am” to feelings and emotions rather than to facts and affirmations. One day while speaking to a friend and pastor over coffee, he asked how I was doing and I answered, “I am a bit overwhelmed.” He immediately stopped me and said, “no you are not! You may feel a bit overwhelmed, but you are not a bit overwhelmed.”

This Pastor’s comment took me a back and made me feel confused, but he went on to explain. His explanation has shaped the success I’ve experienced in all levels of my life, and I believe it can help yours if you simply give it a try. The next time you catch yourself putting the words, “I am” in front of a negative feeling related to difficulties in your day, week, month or year, consider correcting yourself and saying, “I feel…” instead.

Thank God for that pastor and friend who happened to be at the same Brooklyn New York . I’ve been using his advice in my own life and in the lives of those who hire me as their consultant ever since that day. It is what shaped my consulting business and helped me change lives for the better.

Why is this subtle, but significant change so powerful? It’s because you are always talking to you, and what you say to you often matters more than what others say to you. When you put the words I am in front of a self-descriptive comment, you are essentially giving life to that comment. You are making that comment a permanent condition in your life. If you constantly say, “I am tired”, chances are you will always be tired. If you constantly say, “I am broke”, chances are you have created a broke version of yourself that never seems to be able to catch up to your most basic expenses.

What if you changed the I am comment to an I feel comment? Let’s take a look at it. If instead of saying “I am tired” (a condition of being which cannot be changed) you say “I feel tired” (a temporary condition that can be fixed), you open the door to change. See, I can say “I am 5'4” tall” because that is a fact, but if I say “I am short”, that gives power to something that can be changed. Oh, I can’t be 5'4" in height and be tall? If you would have put me next to Bill Shoemaker, the famous horse jockey who stood 4'10" tall, I would have looked pretty tall. Put me next to Danny DeVito, who also stands at 4'10" tall, and I will look pretty tall as well. So I never say, “I am short.” I actually feel like I’m 10 feet tall… inside.

I’ve been practicing this shift for years. You may catch me saying, “I am hungry” here and there, but even then I try to correct myself and say “I feel hungry.” See, I may feel hungry right now, but give me a few grilled burgers with French fries on the side, or a nice, thick, juicy porterhouse steak with mash potatoes on the side, and I won’t feel hungry anymore. (If you can’t tell, I’m a meat eater)

These two may sound like silly examples, so let’s get a little more serious!

We all know someone who is constantly saying, “I am broke.” This person, unconsciously has trained himself not to seek success because he believes, through constant repetition, that he will always be broke. If this person simply said, “I feel broke”, they would understand that they can change that feeling. I often tell my clients that they should be saying, “I may feel broke right now, but I know I am going to be prosperous in months, or even days to come” or “I am blessed and highly favored.” Making a powerful statement in the form of an affirmation can prophetically prepare you for greatness.

Have you ever asked someone, “how are you?” to which they answer, “I am tired” or “I am sick”, or the double whammy response of “I am sick and tired”? I grew up with a guy who constantly replied, “I am tired” to the friendly greeting we all use, “how are you?”. This guy, who we will call Peter Pan (not his real name), was always such a downer that no one wanted to be around him. One day I suggested he never say, “I am tired” again, but rather to say, “I feel tired right now.” I also told him that unless he felt like he could not take another step, his answer should always be, “I feel a little tired right now, but I feel a second wind coming.” My guy Peter Pan has totally shifted his mindset and has received some awesome promotions at work. Better yet, he’s run two marathons, that I know of.

Is using the phrase I am always wrong? Of course not! What if the person who says “I am not good enough” when presented with a new challenge, now started saying “I am good enough”? This person would stop speaking failure over himself and start speaking possibilities and success over himself and his environment. When I started writing this I said that you should not put the phrase I am in front of a negative comment about yourself. Instead, reserve this for positive comments and affirmations.

Here are some positive I am comments for you to start with:
1. I am ready.
2. I am good enough.
3. I am worth it.
4. I am strong enough.
5. I am a winner.
6. I am capable.
7. I am successful.
8. I am prosperous.
9. I am handsome (yep, cause my Claudia told me so).
10. AND my personal favorite, I am a child of God.

What would be your favorite phrases to speak over yourself that start with the words I am?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

George L. Rosario is a Brooklyn NY born & raised businessman & entrepreneur turned consultant. He started GC Rosario Group with his lovely wife Claudia. With over 30 years of service to the marketplace in NYC, George has relocated and been graciously adopted by the business community of South Florida. He now travels the country helping businesses and organizations thrive in today’s noisy environment. The post-Covid era forced many to close their doors, but also opened new doors of opportunity, growth and prosperity for innovative thinkers. George & Claudia Rosario help companies, businesses, organizations and teams develop the necessary skillset and plan of action to not just survive, but thrive in this new world. GC Rosario Group helps both secular and Christian based institutions meet their goals.