Go-To Guys Need Go-To Guys Too

WE ALL NEED A GO-TO GUY IN OUR LIVES

Ladies, my use of the phrase go-to guy in this blog post is not meant to be offensive to the women in leadership positions out there. It’s a commonly used phrase that points to a person who you can trust to be there for you whenever you run into an issue or difficulty. Just so you know, two of my go-to guys are actually amazing ladies who I can trust with my life; my Kingdom Queen Claudia (Mrs. Rosario), and my sister from another mister Karen (the friend that became more than family). So please don’t let the use of a common phrase take away from the message.

I’ve been in leadership positions for years. As a leader, I’ve often been labeled the go-to guy by others. I am humbly honored when I hear anyone refer to me as their go-to guy. It’s a title that I don’t take lightly. It’s a position that I treat with the utmost respect.

That being said, did you know that I have my own go-to guy? Actually, I don’t know one go-to guy in this world that does not have a go-to guy of his own. I have several people who hold this title in my own life. I’ve already mentioned my Claudia (the better half) and my Karen (the sista) in the first paragraph. I’ve also mentioned them in other blog posts. I must also mention my brothers Jesus Rosario and Orlando Rosario. I have to give a huge thumbs up to the go-to guy of go-to guys, holding 3rd place after Jesus Christ and one other person who I will mention later, who almost made it to the top of my short list of go-to guys, my guy Mr. Henry Torres.

QUALITIES OF A GREAT GO-TO GUY
If you have a great go-to guy (or gal) in your life, you can probably already make a detailed list of character traits that have earned them this title. I can tell you that having several of them in my own life, I am blessed to have a very personal and intimate knowledge of these characteristics.

Here is my list. Feel free to add any character traits you feel your go-to guy brings to the table.

1. INTEGRITY AND GOOD CHARACTER:
   Your go-to guy should be less talk and more action. This means that this person is honest, trustworthy, dependable and brings you a feeling of safety and comfort when you are in need. This is the type of person that bad people will target with their insults and their hate, but who Godly people will recognize as someone that is worth listening to, and reliable to call into any situation.
2. WELL BALANCED:
   Your go-to guy puts family and true friends first, and considers you family. This person will willingly give you the most precious commodity known to man; time. This individual will know when a situation requires a calm approach, and when the situation calls for one to roll up the sleeves and get dirty. Your go-to guy will be there to laugh, to cry, or just to be there with you.
3. CONFIDENCE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY:
   Your go-to guy cannot be a wimp. You don’t need some cocky, over the top, holier than though, pride filled, social bully. What you need is someone who believes in himself and has the self-esteem and ability to step into your moment of need and help you come out of it rather than add to the distress. Your go-to guy brings a 2 Timothy 1:7 level of courage in the face of any problem.
4. COURAGE WIHTOUT THE HOT TEMPER:
   Your go-to guy must have courage, but must also know how to separate courage and anger. I battled with anger and a bad temper for years. I won my internal battle by holding onto Proverbs 14:29 ‘He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly.’ and by getting an accountability partner who understood this struggle. Courage is not blind anger. Getting angry in certain situations is acceptable. What you do with that anger is what separates you from the foolish hot head. Your go-to guy should know how to control his anger and only let it come to the surface when it is called for. Remember, Jesus Christ got angry. (Matthew 21:12–13, Mark 11:15–17)
5. CARE ENOUGH TO LISTEN:
   Your go-to guy cares about your heart, mind and soul more than he cares about the sound of his voice. You do not need someone who can be quiet long enough to hear you out. As a communication coach, I tell people something I’ve heard teachers tell kindergarten students often; “You have two ears and one mouth. Listen more, talk less.” If we want to take it a step further, your go-to guy will not only listen to your words, but watch your body language. Non-verbal communication is just as important if not more important than verbal communication. Saying, “I’m OK” and actually being OK are two different things.
6. BE ASSERTIVE AND SHOW INITIATIVE:
   My go-to guy is a leader that knows when to take action, and what level of action to take in any situation. As the go-to guy for some of my closest friends, I strive to do the same. A great go-to guy doesn’t act out of foolish impulse, but will take the necessary actions after properly assessing a situation.
7. IT’S ALL IN THE SMALL DETAILS:
   In point #5 I mentioned that a great go-to guy is a great listener. This is tough to do if he isn’t good at noticing the small details. A great go-to guy tries to stay in tune to the detail in the situation, and is knows how to organize his thoughts, and articulate his responses to deliver the level of interaction that is necessary. When addressing huge problems, he knows that sometimes the smallest shift, the tiniest adjustment can make the biggest difference.
8. RESPECTS HIMSELF AND OTHERS:
   If a person solves everything by disrespecting, insulting or attacking others, that is not a go-to guy. Your go-to guy operates on empathy, discernment, civil discourse and forgiveness. This goes hand-in-hand with the hot head, out of control fool described in item #4. And as far as respecting himself, a great go-to guy is not a push-over or a wimp. He knows his worth and will not let you or anyone else deter him from striving on becoming the kind of better, more mature man he wants to be. All of us have room for self improvement, and your go-to guy must understand that and accept that.
9. FOCUSED ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT:
   My go-to guys are friends who are open to becoming better today than they were yesterday, and better tomorrow than the best version of themselves today. Your go-to guy is not only focused on fighting for you and conquering situations when necessary, but is also ready to fight and conquer the obstacle courses in his own life. Your go-to guy is not in competition with you or with anyone else. He understands that his only competition is the go-to guy he was yesterday, and he strives to be a better, more understanding, more mature, more valuable, more giving go-to guy today.
10. DEPENDABLE, COMMITTED, FAITHFUL, HONEST & REACHABLE:
    There is a reason why Henry Torres is my 3 am call. I can honestly say there’s never been a moment when I’ve reached out to him and been ghosted. My guy is there when I need him. More importantly, he is the type of go-to guy who does not beat around the bush. He is committed to helping me, faithful in our friendship, always dependable and above all, my guy keeps it 100 (that phrase may not be popular in a few years so I might as well use it now… lol). Henry tells it how it is. So when I ask for help and he drops some tough love on me instead, I receive it as an honestly delivered and trustworthy bit of advice. My go-to guy is loyal to our friendship, even if it means calling me out on my weaknesses.
11. HE IS READY TO BULLY THE BULLIES:
    Nothing bothers a good go-to guy than injustice. That of course includes when you are being unjust, doing anything that is less than honorable or caring. Your go-to guy should be ready to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. He must be prepared to kick ass when necessary. Yes, I said kick ass, get over it. A great go-to guy will put a stop to any other guy getting out of line in your life. If he sees you are being steered wrong by someone else, he will step in and redirect you in the right direction, even when you didn’t ask for it. This may bother you at first, but you will always thank him later. A great go-to guy will even help a stranger who may be facing his own bully in life. It’s simply in his nature to step in and do the right thing.
12. HONESTY ABOVE SUGAR-COATING:
    We all know the truth can hurt sometimes, but a hard truth is better than a soft lie. Telling the truth is what makes any relationship work. My wife is brutally honest. I mean, she will not sugar coat anything when it comes to me, and I would not have her be any other way. There’s a reason why they call her #TheFeistyColombian. In the beginning I told you that my go-to guy isn’t always a guy. Well, the GREATEST go-to guy in my life is my go-to Kingdom Queen Claudia. I know that if I want a straight answer about anything, even if it can potentially hurt my feelings, she will give it to me. My tough cookie is a really tough cookie. Your go-to guy has to be just as honest with you. You don’t need someone to hold the go-to guy position in your life if all they are going to do is massage your weaknesses. Little white lies that seek to spare your feelings are worse than tough truths that are aimed to help you.
13. BE A GOOD STEWARD:
    A good go-to guy is not weak in his own finances. I’m not saying that a great go-to guy can’t come to you for help when he needs it. But, a great go to guy is vigilant over his own resources. He plans ahead and never over extends himself to the point that you always have to rescue him (Proverbs 27:23. Your go-to guy should never become your financial responsibility. If he has to borrow money from you every time you speak to him, you might as well hire a therapist and make that licensed professional your go-to guy (not that there’s anything wrong with that). If you have to pay your go-to guy in order to get help from your go-to guy, he is no longer your go-to guy but rather your dependent.
14. LAUGH AND EXPERIENCE JOY:
    Don’t have a go-to guy who takes himself too seriously. Your go-to guy should have a great sense of humor and be ok with laughing at different things, even laughing at himself. You should feel comfortable enough to laugh at yourself and your mistakes in front of your go-to guy because he would do the same in front of you.
15. HUMBLE PEOPLE BEAT PRIDEFUL PEOPLE:
    Your go-to guy does not help you just to get a thank you from you. Your’ go-to guy does things to being you recognition because he knows you do the same for him. If your go-to guy finishes every interaction and every moment of help with a “you’re welcome” expecting you to bow down and praise him, his ego is in control. Don’t hang out with people who operate from an overblown ego. Humble people don’t do good deeds for personal praise. They do good deeds for the joy and satisfaction of doing good things for others.
16. IT’S ABOUT US, NOT ME:
    Your wins are his wins. Your go-to guy doesn’t need it to be about him. Winning with you is better to him than winning by himself. There’s not much to say about this one except, make sure your go-to guy is a team player. Make sure he is on the WE and not on the ME team. The team win is more important than the ego win.
17. ADAPTING TO NEW SPACES:
    Your go-to guy can make the best of any environment and any situation. Even when things don’t work out the way he expected, he is still strong and still comfortable in making necessary tweaks and changes to the plan to make the best of things.
18. BEING A CLASS ACT IS NOT AN ACT:
    Truly classy people aren’t acting classy, they are classy. When you pick your go-to guy, don’t choose someone who doesn’t have to pretend to care, or pretend to take your needs into consideration. Choose a person who is genuinely in tune to what it is you need, and who delivers help without having to resort to criminal or hurtful activities.
19. BE WILLING TO GROW:
    Your go-to guy should love life, love people, love you and love learning. Choose a go-to guy who reads, studies, watches positivity, growth oriented videos, prays, and seeks to expand his mind. Make sure your go-to guy is adjusting to the times by continuing to learn new things that will make his ability to be there for you and for others stronger and more productive. People who I call my go-to guy read at least one book a month. I’ve never asked her, but I am sure that my most trustworthy go-to lady, my amazing wife reads a book a week if not two. She’s a WILD ONE!
20. MENTORS CREATE AND SHAPE MENTORS:
    Your go-to guy must have mentors; people who he molds his life and wants to be like. I’ve mentioned in a couple of points above that your go-to guy should be striving to be better. Your go-to guy can only do this if he molds himself through those that are greater than he. A GREAT go-to guy molds himself not only after great men, but after great men of God, and thus is working to be a Godly man and live a Godly life.
21. HE IS A FAITHFUL, AUTHENTIC FRIEND:
    Your go-to guy must be someone who believes in friendship and believes in loving his friends. Your go-to guy believes in having tight brotherhoods with the few people he calls friends. Your go-to guy is not concerned with lots of followers he has on social media, or how famous he is in social circles. Your go-to guy focuses more on the quality of his friendships rather than on the quantity of friends he has. To your go-to guy, it’s not about the numbers, but about the one. Your go-to guy understands “iron sharpens iron as man sharpens man.” Proverbs 27:17
22. HE LEAVES THINGS BETTER THAN HE RECEIVED THEM:
    Your go-to guy enters any and every space and situation with one goal in mind, to leave it better for you and for others than it was before he entered it. Your go-to guy is driven by making things better. He doesn’t come in to be the coolest, most admired person in the room but rather to add to the greatness of the room. He wants to bring value to the world, and when he leaves the world, he wants to make sure it will be a better place.
23. ABSTINENCE / TEMPERANCE IN LIFE
    Your go-to guy is not the wild, out of control guy in any situation. He is not the wild man at a party. He is not the guy that makes a situation worse by throwing the first punch. Your go-to guy doesn’t operate out of his lane. He knows how to control his actions, his thoughts, his feelings, his emotions, and his desires. The go-to guy (or gal) does not doesn’t overdo anything. He doesn’t cheat on himself by abusing alcohol, drugs, or any other vices. He doesn’t cheat on his wife (and if it’s a go-to gal she doesn’t cheat on her husband). Your go-to guy does not leave himself open to criticism from others because of his actions. He will not be described as a cheater, a fornicator, an idolater, a thief, a liar, a destroyer of good things and good relationships. Who is your go-to guy? He’s the one that pulls you out of a situation and brings you back onto the right path. He has permission to do this because you trust him (or her) to do so.
24. HE GENUINELY WANTS YOU AND OTHERS TO BE BETTER:
    Your go-to guy knows the difference between right and wrong, and is not afraid to point it out. Again, my wife! The Feisty Colombian. She keeps me centered and reminds me of what is right and what is not right. She does it with such class, such love and a genuine desire to make me better. My go-to! I have a few go-to guys who I can trust to step in and make me better. They do it out of love and when I’m corrected by them, I accept it.
25. PREFER LOVE OVER WAR, BUT BE READY FOR WAR:
    Your go-to guy keeps your business private and confronts you (calls you out) in private. He does not air out your dirty laundry. He helps you behind the scenes and corrects you behind the scenes. Your go-to guy will keep the peace when possible, but will never allow you, himself or anyone important to you to be a doormat. He has confidence in his ability to help, and can keep calm in tough, challenging times.
26. NEVER LETS PHYSICAL HARM COME TO YOU:
    God is in you, and your body is a temple dedicated to God. Your go-to guy will not allow anyone to harm you physically if he can stop it. Your go-to guy will never allow you to harm yourself either. If he sees anyone coming at you with harmful intentions, he will step in. If he sees you doing something that will cause you harm, he will call you out on it. Your go-to guy protects your physical well being as if he is protecting his own well being.
27. NATURAL BORN LEADER:
    Your go-to guy leads knowing that the actions he takes today will affect your life and the life of others tomorrow and deep into the future. Your go-to guy has to be there for you to take action when you aren’t in a position or condition to take action yourself.
28. AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE:
    Your go-to guy lives in gratitude. He exercises gratitude towards God, first and foremost. He also expresses his gratitude for your presence in his life by being there for you when you need him to be. He does this because he knows you will be there for him when he needs you to be. Your go-to guy will sacrifice, work hard, and give freely with a cheerful and thankful heart, and is always grateful for everything he receives from you, without expecting more from you than your loyalty to your friendship.
29. FAMILY COMES FIRST AND YOU ARE FAMILY:
    You are family to your go-to guy. Your go-to guy is family to you. As family, your go-to guy will put acquaintances in an important go-to folder, and friends in a more important go-to folder, but his go-to crew (which includes you) goes into a special to-do folder that goes on top of all others. The ONLY to-do folder that ever comes before yours in your go-to guy’s to-do list is the folder where he services God. Your go-to guy is concerned with what concerns you, and honors what you honor.
30. THE CREATOR COMES FIRST:
    THIS IS SO IMPORTANT THAT I HAVE TO PUT IT IN ALL CAPS; GOD IS NEVER SECOND TO YOUR GO-TO GUY. GOD IS ALWAYS FIRST! Your go-to guy prays with you, prays for you and prays over you. Your go-to guy knows that the best way he (or she) can help you is by praying for you and then jumping into action. I finish this by thanking God for giving me a Genesis 2:18 helper and go-to Kingdom Wife. My wife Claudia prays and then opens her mouth. My wife Claudia prays and then takes the first step. My wife Claudia prays and then pushes me to be better. The second most important go-to guy in my life isn’t even a guy, but an awesome Godly woman. She holds that second place because she knows that my top go-to guy is Jesus Christ. It’s OK. I hope she sees me as her second most important go-to guy. I already know who holds first place on her go-to list.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

George L. Rosario is a Brooklyn NY born & raised businessman & entrepreneur turned consultant. He started GC Rosario Group with his lovely wife Claudia. With over 30 years of service to the marketplace in NYC, George has relocated and been graciously adopted by the business community of South Florida. He now travels the country helping businesses and organizations thrive in today’s noisy environment. The post-Covid era forced many to close their doors, but also opened new doors of opportunity, growth and prosperity for innovative thinkers. George & Claudia Rosario help companies, businesses, organizations and teams develop the necessary skillset and plan of action to not just survive, but thrive in this new world. GC Rosario Group helps both secular and Christian based institutions meet their goals.