Call Out Before You Burn Out

 

Many of the leaders who come to me, they open up in ways they do not open to the public or even to their co-leaders. Many of them are living lives that are more like Instagram feeds than real life. They only show you the pretty, touched up pictures with the perfect filters, but never let you see the ugly, raw, unfiltered photos. Some wait until their frustration is about to take them down before they come to me.

Not all leaders are like this. Most of my clients come to me before things start going wrong. Many of them come to me when things are going well because they know that there’s always room for improvement and growth. Unfortunately some wait until stress starts catching up to them before they come to me as a consulting client. These are the ones that are in a place that makes them say things like, “I’m exhausted,” or “I’m about to lose my mind,” or “this job is killing me.” Leaders, please don’t let things get this bad before you bring an outside consultant to assist you. Leaders need leaders too.

Leadership burnout is dangerous, not just for the leader but for the people he leads. One of the stages of burnout is denial; leaders who aren’t ready to admit it to themselves or to others that they are about to lose it. They let fear, pride and misguided responsibility make them hide the pain.

When you work in my field, you come to realize that most leaders, (small business owners, church leaders, management professionals, C-level corporate directors, politicians, etc.) feel high levels of stress. Some handle this stress well. Others let the stress consume them. This is why it is no surprise that when they stay in these conditions, many of them burnout.

LET’S DEFINE BURNOUT!
Leader burnout is extreme mental, emotional, spiritual and physical exhaustion. It often makes the leader lose interest in their work, which results in lack of passion, often lack of involvement, and eventually results in poor performance. Leader burnout doesn’t just result in poor performance at the leadership level, but often it trickles down to the people this leader leads.

WHAT CAUSES BURNOUT?
When a leader tries to do everything himself without consulting with others who can take a look at situations with rested eyes, the leader will burn out. Leaders who make it a habit to stay in stressful situations for an extended period of time, they will burn out. Leaders who experience burnout are usually micromanagers and loners who try to do it all on their own. They allowed an erred leadership philosophy convince them that they must do everything themselves, never delegating tasks to others or trusting their people to learn accountability. Leaders who burnout usually failed to raise other leaders within their organization who can step in and help out in stressful situations.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE BURNOUT BEFORE IT HAPPENS

1. YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED AND EXHAUSTED
   Remember when you first started? The excitement, the passion, the energy level and the optimism was through the roof. Now, the thought of going in to work makes your shoulders feel like 2 ton bricks weighing you down. You drag your feet before the day starts. You’re always tired. You are more excited for a trip to the dentist than a trip to the office.
2. YOU SEE MORE NEGATIVES THAN POSITIVES
   You see nothing but all the bad. Your people could be experiencing wins, but you are so frustrated and cynical that all you see is the obstacles and problems that are stressing you out. You don’t see a way move past all the roadblocks you’ve experienced.
3. YOU WENT FROM PRODUCER TO SLEEPER
   You used to feel like a way maker, a pioneer, e a go-getter and a results creator. Now you see yourself as a tire-kicker who is afraid to take action because you expect things to go wrong anyway. This is probably a result of your difficulty thinking, and your exhaustion. You know that your work is slipping, so you work even harder–and longer–to make up for it.
4. YOU ARE HAVING BRAIN MALFUNCTION
   Projects and decisions that were once very easy step into have now become difficult. You forget important things like events, meetings, deadlines, etc. Your focus is gone. You can’t think well enough to make moves in the right direction. You can no longer figure things out.
5. YOU ARE TAKING FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON YOUR PEOPLE
   You’ve become so toxic that your people start avoiding you. You are dumping your negativity on your people. Your team can’t stand to be around you. You are losing accounts and clients because they can sense something is not right with you. Your temper can go from cold to hot faster than a match.
6. YOU’RE TAKING YOUR WORK (AND FRUSTRATION) HOME WITH YOU
   If you are married, your spouse is dealing with your work frustration. If you have children, your attitude is borderline abusive. You may be home but emotionally and mentally, you are still stuck at the office. The business is taking up all your brains real estate.
7. YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS HAVE TAKEN A HIT
   Perhaps you weren’t known to be the life of the party and the bright light in any dark circumstance, but you did enjoy spending some quality time with friends, family and even with some of your associates. Now you don’t socialize in any area of your life, but it is especially evident at work. You’re the leader and yet you’ve become antisocial and unapproachable. This is a clear sign that you lack the energy to spend time with others and that, and that when you are at work, you don’t really want to be there.
8. YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING
   If a leader is losing sleep due to work/project related stress, perhaps it is time to step down or take on a co-leader. You are not alone. This is actually one of the most common red flag problems some leaders run into. The lack of sleep is a clear indication that you are headed for a burnout. Hopefully you are not relying on meds to fall asleep. Sleeping medications can be addictive and can lead to depression, anxiety and can speed up your burnout.
9. YOU ARE DEVELOPING STRESS RELATED HEALTH ISSUES
   Some busy people let stress stop them from taking care of their well-being. If you are neglecting your health, and you are starting to feel sick, you need to understand that increased stress will eventually cause certain health problems. There are people who ignore this red flag until it is too late. Don’t be in that group.
10. YOU’VE LOST THE JOY OF SMALL VICTORIES
    When you first started as a leader, the smallest victories made your day. I’m not talking about huge wins. I’m talking about one phone call, one email, one new account, one compliment, or just getting to work early because you caught all the green lights. Little things made you smile. If nothing seems good enough now, regardless of how small or large it may be, you may be heading for leadership burnout. If you notice the negative before you notice anything positive, and you have a hard time finding anything positive to be grateful about, you may be heading for a burnout.

HOW DO YOU AVOID THE BURNOUT?
Yes, you should want to learn how to recognize the warning signs and the red flags, but you shouldn’t just rely on your own discernment. Ask people in your trusted inner circle to keep an eye on you. If you are feeling stressed at work, talk about it. Tell someone about it. Hire an outside consultant to evaluate your company, evaluate your organization, evaluate your systems, evaluate your current situation, and make recommendations that can help you deal with the small problems and issues that are causing you stress before it becomes a bigger problem. Learn to delegate some of the responsibilities that are stressing you out. Obviously you can’t expect others to do your work, but you should be able to call on your team to help you with difficult projects, or else you do not have a team The best advice you will ever hear about this is this; ASK FOR HELP!

WHAT IF YOU HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED A BURNOUT?
You are NOT alone! Many of the greatest leaders you admire may have experienced a burnout here or there. Remember, many leaders only let you see the Instagram and Pinterest ready picture of their life and their business, while they hide the ugly, unedited, unfiltered photos. If you could peel back the public masks of many leaders, the ugliness you find might surprise you.

I am a business expert and a trusted consultant to some of the biggest entities in the marketplace. But I too have experienced a burnout. It was HUGE! And it was avoidable if I had just listened to friends who told me I was headed to it. There were warning signs and red flags. I was easily annoyed. I was always tired. I was never satisfied. I couldn’t sleep. I was losing weight quickly. I was easily angered. I was overwhelmed and still kept taking more onto my plate. I tried to micromanage and solve all issues on my own. I refused help. And then the burnout came and I was out of work and out of commission for 21 days. THREE WEEKS! For a man that was working 10–12 hours a day, 7 days a week and running on less than 4 hours of sleep a night, taking 3 weeks off was excruciating. But when you burnout and crash, you have to take time to recuperate.

HOW DO WE RECUPERATE AFTER A BURNOUT?
Some people and organizations will not be able to recover from a burnout because they refuse to take the necessary steps to do so. They refuse to take a step back to recuperate. They could have survived the crash but they would not step out of the burning debris. They are running on empty and still trying to drive to the finish line. Let’s face it, some people are simply beyond help because they do not want to receive it. God blesses those who receive the blessings. Receive yours.

Getting past a burnout is never easy. As a consultant, I work with many professionals who have experienced a major setback in their business and know the leader burnout all too well. Some leaders are so deep in the noise that they can’t hear the voice of reason trying to share a roadmap with them. The smart leader will seek help when he or she experiences a burnout. Leadership comes with responsibility, which often comes with stress that leads to burnout. If anyone who has experienced a burnout starts implementing proven systems and remedies, they can slowly but surely re-energize themselves and their organization again.

Sure, seeking outside help (consulting firm) will get you past the burnout, but there are many of you that are strong enough to stop, or recover from a burnout. Here are some practical steps you can take to do so.

START AN EXERCISE REGIMEN
My Kingdom wife, business partner and all around awesome human being Claudia P. Rosario and I are into exercise. As God would have it, He brought two high energy morning people together. We are always up before 5 am (usually at 4:30 am), we do our morning prayer, Bible study, worship and devotional, and by 5:30 am we are at the gym. Before joining the gym, we were working out at home by 5:30 am. Is this ideal for everyone out there? NO! We understand that not all people are morning people. There are some of you who do better working out in the evening, and others who love to work out late at night. If that works best for you, then great! As long as you are exercising, you are releasing some of that built up stress that leads to burnouts. And if you have already hit the burnout stage, working out will help you regain the necessary energy and physical health to get past the burnout.

IMPLEMENT A HEALTHIER DIET
I am not telling you that you have to go vegan, or cut out all your favorite fun foods. What I am saying is that if you are purposely eating a mixture of good food, cutting down on things like sugar, caffeine, fats and empty calories, and eating healthy portions on a health driven schedule, you will feel a lot better. Eating fast food every day and chasing that with a pint of ice cream is a sure way to destroy your body, and destroy your chances of getting past a burnout.

REST AND RELAXATION (R&R) ARE CRUCIAL TO YOUR RECOVERY
The late night/early morning, all work/no play individual experiences multiple burnouts in his/her life. Look at any overworked, under-rested employee and I’ll show you someone who is a candidate for a burnout. Show me an overworked, under-rested leader and I’ll show you that this person is already burnt out even if it hasn’t been admitted or recognize. All of us need rest.

You don’t have to be a faith-based individual to learn something from the Bible. If God is God and He is perfect, and as the Bible says, God created us in His image, then God gave us a perfect example of how we should approach work. He worked hard and diligently, and in his infinite power, He created the Earth and everything in it, including you and I. According to Bible scripture, He did all of this in 6 days (Genesis 1:1–31). What did He do on the 7th day? HE RESTED (Genesis 2:2)! Did God need to rest? Probably not. So why did He rest on the 7th day? To show us how important it is for us to schedule our own R&R before we burnout.

THE BEDROOM IS TOO SACRED FOR SOCIAL MEDIA & TV!
As a leader, an entrepreneur and a consultant, one of the best things I did for myself was to leave all electronic devices outside the bedroom. My cell phone either stays in the kitchen or in my home office at night. The TV in the bedroom is not connected to cable (actually, none of my TVs are) and is only used for my wife to watch an exercise routine when she works out at home or for the 2 of us to watch a YouTube message from one of our favorite Christian Pastors. The bedroom TV is NEVER on after 8 pm (it’s a rule) and never used for things that do not feed out heart and soul. Claudia and I are avid readers. We both have Kindles and other reading devices. They too must be turned off by 8 PM.

My Kingdom Queen Claudia and I are grown adults, with 9 children and 4 grandchildren as of today (12/31/2021). We are not kids. But we have set healthy rules and boundaries for ourselves and our bedroom like the ones we set for our kids when they were growing up. It’s our way of staying responsible and making sure we disconnect from the noise before going to sleep.

CHUCK THE SLEEPING PILLS AND SLEEPING AIDS
Many of my consulting clients come to me already dependent on sleeping pills. I don’t care if these are “natural” and supposedly safe. The natural ones may be free of unnatural chemicals and additives, but they are not a “natural” path to falling asleep. When a person tells me he/she can’t sleep without taking a pill, I beg them to change their behavior.

Look, I am not a doctor or physician. I do not have a medical degree. So you don’t have to take my advice if you trust your doctor more on this one, as you should. But consider this; unhealthy dependency on prescription and non-prescription sleep aids in on the rise in the United States, and it has already reached epidemic levels. Drug addiction is running rampant, and leaders across all industries and social circles are not immune to this monster. Sleeping pills are NOT a good remedy to stress induced burnout. These just add to the problem.

Want to fall asleep without sleeping pills. Grab the Bible in print (a paper Bible, not your Bible app) and read it just before you go to bed. Two things will come out of this. 1. You are almost guaranteed to fall asleep. 2. You fall asleep with God in your heart. And if you wake up in the middle of the night, the Bible will be there waiting for you. Wake up & repeat as many times as necessary.

I would give some other advice, but I’ll keep this blog very PG friendly. Let’s just say there’s something married couples could do that will definitely help you sleep better at night. If you are married and you don’t know what I mean, you need a whole different kind of help. Maybe we’ll discuss that one in a private blog if you subscribe and follow.

LEARN TO DELEGATE, AND HUMBLY ASK FOR HELP
There is no shame in asking for help. If you feel you are headed for a burnout, or if you have already burned out, be open about it and seek help. All of us need someone to turn to when we feel like life is weighing us down. You do not have to face adversity alone. In Genesis 2:18 (yes, I am dropping Bible verses again), God clearly says, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” While this was referring to the creation of Eve, it is also a clear indication that God never intended us to do life alone.

The best of the best go-to guys in this world are such because they have their own go-to guys to turn to in a time of need. I’ve spoken at several events and in many churches about the need to have a person in your life who is the 3 am call. I’m talking about a confidant who will be there for you when you need it. I am blessed to have several. One sleeps right next to me and is the prettiest confidant I’ve ever had in my life. Her name is Claudia and she is my best friend, my Kingdom wife and my Genesis 2:18 suitable helper. My other 3 am call is not as pretty, but that one has proven his loyalty time and time again. His name is Henry Torres and he is the one guy that has always been up for any challenge. There are many others my brothers Jesus and Orlando, my sister from another mister Karen Valentin, and two or three more.

Can you name YOUR 3 am call/go-to guy or gal? If not then you really need to find one, or a few. You do not have to do life, or stress alone!

GET AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
Part of not doing life alone is to have an accountability partner. This is different than your go-to guy or your 3 am call. Your accountability partner is someone who has permission granted by you to call you out whenever you are heading in the wrong direction. This person doesn’t just keep you on track towards your goals by checking your progress, but this person also keeps you on track by checking your temperature. This person has the permission to pull the plug on your workday whenever you are heading towards a burnout. Make sure this person has your best interest at heart, and then let go of your controlling nature, and let them have permission to say, “you have to slow down.” Make sure that this person is someone you respect so much that you’ll listen to their advice to slow down.

REMOVE NEGATIVE PEOPLE FROM YOUR CIRCLE
As a leader, you must learn to hire and fire. If you have to remove someone from your team because all he or she does is add stress to your already demanding life, you must be prepared to do so without feeling guilty afterwards. This is one of the most difficult things to do as a leader, especially if you are the type of leader that wants to be liked by everyone. On the same token, do you know which leaders burn out most often? You guessed it; the leaders that want everyone to like them. A leader is called to serve his people. You cannot serve your people responsibly if you ignore a bad apple in your bunch. You have to remove the bad apple before it’s rotten nature spreads to the whole team.

If you have trouble doing so, call in a consultant. One of the many tasks we do at GC Rosario Group is to help you clean house. We identify the people within your people who are just drilling holes in your ship, we advise you on how to retrain those that can be retrained, and we help you dismiss those that are beyond help before they sink the whole ship. This is not an easy job, but it is one that will save you from a burnout, or help you recover from one.

OUR OPERATING SYSTEMS HELP US RECOVER FROM BURNOUTS
The best way to recover from a burnout is to get back up, dust yourself off, and go back to the drawing board. But what are you going back to the drawing board to do? It should be to create and implement operating systems that will help you avoid future burnouts.

Never try to singlehandedly create your own systems after a burnout. The top heart surgeon in this world cannot operate on his own heart. You may be the best at what you do, but you cannot operate on your own leadership heart after a burnout. Call in a consultant and let a set of fresh, unattached eyes take a look at the problem. Collaborate with this consultant so that together you can create a better, more efficient operating system.

CONCLUSION
If you ever find yourself feeling like you are about to burn out, don’t hide it, don’t try to fix it on your own, ask for help, bring in an outside set of eyes, address the issues when they are still addressable, take a breather, change your routine, and fix the breaks before you crash and burn. Burnouts are never pretty, and they often lead to problems that we cannot recover from. If you address the small issues when the warning signs and red flags start showing up, you may be able to avoid the burnout.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

George L. Rosario is a Brooklyn NY born & raised businessman & entrepreneur turned consultant. He started GC Rosario Group with his lovely wife Claudia. With over 30 years of service to the marketplace in NYC, George has relocated and been graciously adopted by the business community of South Florida. He now travels the country helping businesses and organizations thrive in today’s noisy environment. The post-Covid era forced many to close their doors, but also opened new doors of opportunity, growth and prosperity for innovative thinkers. George & Claudia Rosario help companies, businesses, organizations and teams develop the necessary skillset and plan of action to not just survive, but thrive in this new world. GC Rosario Group helps both secular and Christian based institutions meet their goals.